In Los Angeles yesterday, an old person yet again accused another old person of molestation sometime around 100 years ago when they were a child. The alleged molester, Kip Arnold, was a school teacher and by all reports from his neighbors, a very kind, quiet and trustworthy person. When police converged on Mr. Arnold to arrest him, he lead them on a high speed chase through the Los Angeles area, ending with him flying off an embankment and crashing into a tree. He's now in the hospital where he's being healed so they can prop him up in front of whatever weeping, cross burning mob is waiting to throw him in prison for the rest of his life. Other victims are already beginning to step forward to take their pound of flesh and claim that they too were molested by Mr. Arnold when they were children and it is just now, after 30-some years, that this suddenly makes them sad.
In case you couldn't detect it, I've become a bit dubious about the entire cultural process of atonement, absolution and social justice for sexual predators. I don't wish to defend them or their crimes, but in a country that chants, "an eye for an eye", I'm seeing something closer to a couple of legs, an arm, a few fingers, half a liver, both testicles and an eye for an eye when it comes to child molesters.
I began to get a bit suspicious of the validity of this "justice" a short time ago when I was watching witnesses in the trial of Jerry Sandusky testify about his actions again them. Grown men turned into blubbering, sobbing children as they detailed the when's, what's and where's of their individual sexual assaults. And though I understand that Sandusky is certainly not a good person and being sexually molested isn't exactly a fond memory, I found myself questioning if the events these people went through as children were so traumatic as to call for all the hand-wringing, crippling sorrow of an overly dramatic off-Hollywood film.
What is sexual molestation? The physical nature of it is obvious, but what what does it represent emotionally to the victim? A loss of control. Helplessness. Perhaps some pain. Being forced to do something you don't want to. Shame and embarrassment. These are all unpleasant things. But they're also unpleasant things that most people experience nearly every day from their bosses or co-workers at their jobs or from teachers and other students at school.
When I was in school, being whacked with a paddle was still a common punishment for kids who broke the rules. Sometimes, teachers became overzealous with this form of punishment. On one occasion, I was taken into the hallway and smacked with a wooden paddle in front of other children for nothing more than failing to cut a shape out of a piece of construction paper properly during an art project. I didn't do anything to deserve it. I was a victim. I definitely felt a loss of control, shame, embarrassment and helplessness. There was definitely pain and I absolutely didn't want to do it. However, to this day, the woman is still a teacher at the same school and has yet to be dragged away by the enraged masses to rot in a jail cell for her brutal defilement of innocence. And honestly, I wouldn't want that. Because after about a week, I got over it.
Could it be that our level of suffering over being harmed is adjustable and programmed by society? Humiliation in one form affects us less while in another form demands an entire life in retribution. It doesn't take a genius to see that the modern American cannot function without the convenience of being able to define him/herself as a victim. We cannot accept failure or weakness in ourselves, so we push it onto another person, business, disease, large corporation or the government. And amongst our coveted victimizations, being sexually molested as a child is the Crown Jewel -- the ultimate end-all, be-all get out of jail free card. If I'm an insufferable, alcoholic bastard, don't blame me... I was molested. If I steal or take drugs -- if I'm violent or even kill someone, it's not entirely my fault. I was molested. And we -- as nasty, broken, ill-mannered and ultimately inhuman as we can be -- can sleep soundly at night knowing that the person to blame for all our faults is sitting in a jail cell somewhere.
And in that sense, these child molesters are, in fact, the saviors of their own victims. They are their personal messiahs. The molested have been washed blemishless of all sins by their molesters. Because, no matter the situation, it's always harder to confront your demons and move on than blaming someone else for all your problems.
